Dealing with the discomfort of compliments when living with an unhelpful inner voice.
She likened receiving a compliment to receiving a flower. That person has given you something beautiful. They’ve also given up something of their-selves to gift it to you. Time to select and pick the most beautiful blossom for you. To reach out and hand it to you. Think about the genuine feelings behind that gift in an uncritical way.
Now, how would she feel if you tore and crushed the blossom then threw it to the ground? The physical acting-out of the scenario was powerful for me. I replay it, my reaction and feelings often. Her discomfort. My denial of her validation, her feelings, her generosity. It made me see differently. That was her gift to me.
I sat there and she handed me a beautiful flower. For one of the first times in my adult life I accepted the flower. I didn’t deny or make a joke of it. I didn’t look for ulterior motives. In that moment I accepted the flower and thanked her. I believed I was worth the flower.
I didn’t pick the flower. She picked it for me. Her feelings are valid. I accepted the flower. In the act of acceptance it made me feel better about myself.
I will keep my promise to myself. I will keep trying. I will accept the flower.
Thank you to the beautiful woman in Glasgow who will remain nameless.